Safety Dance
by TheNewMissNoOne
Summary: This is it, he thought. Artie is determined to tell Tina how he really feels... in the most Artie-ish way possible. But how does this include retainers, the value of Pi, and a praying mantis? Well if a nerd does it, you never know.


**Now I really know I have a problem. I couldn't stop writing ArTina stories! I stay up waaay past my bedtime, juicing weird plot lines from my brain on the spot! What is wrong with me?**

**Anyways, please review! Thanks :)**

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Summary: This is it, he thought. Artie is determined to tell Tina how he really feels... in the most Artie-ish way possible. 

"Thank you _so_ much for helping me with my Math, Artie. If I get another fail, I swear to god that my parents would literally murder me!" Tina said to her wheelchair-bound best friend, laughing.

"No problem, Tee. Just consider yourself lucky you got yourself a Mathlete," Artie winked at her, causing her to giggle.

"Great! So where is he?" Tina asked, looking from side to side.

"Very funny, Tina," he muttered sarcastically. He then opened the Math book in front of him. "Let's get down to business,"

Tina sighed. "Aww, can't we just do it tomorrow? We were actually having fun!"

Artie shook his head, thoroughly amused. "You're so weird, Tee,"

She threw a crumpled piece of paper at him. "Killjoy," she muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing!" she smiled sweetly.

"Okay, so let's start with solving this equation by multiplying multinomials..."

Tina stared at him, mouth slightly agape, as he kept going on and on...

"...there are three things you can do with fields. You can take the gradient, divergence, and curl of them..."

She kept staring, not really taking in anything that he's saying.

"...one way to do that is to make it a geodesic sphere..."

He kept on talking. _He's actually kind of cute_, she thought. A dreamy smile crept upon her face.

"...and by tomorrow I'm hoping we'd have covered the Cartesian graph method..."

His sweet pink lips moved to whatever it is that he's saying, and Tina found herself staring at them. _He has nice teeth_, she sighed dreamily.

"And—Tina? Tina, you're not listening!" He waved his hand in front of her. Tina shook her head.

"Oh, s-sorry!"

"What's got your mind in such a trance?"

Tina blushed at his question. "Nothing of consequence!"

"Tina," he warned, "Unless we find out what's distracting you, you won't be able to learn anything. So what is it?"

"Nothing, I'm just really tired is all," she came up with an excuse quickly, "Let's just do this some other time." She quickly grabbed her book and bag and stood up from her seat. As she was turning for the door, Artie caught her wrist.

"Wait, I have to tell you something!"

"Not now, Artie, please. I just need time to think!" Tina pulled her hand away from his grasp and ran out of his house.

Who was she kidding? Artie would never like her! She's not pretty or talented. She can sing well, but all the others are much better singers than her. She had already accepted the fact that Artie would never settle for someone like her. So why was she still having these fantasies about him?

Artie sighed in frustration. Today was the day he was supposed to tell her how he really feels, that he likes her—heck, maybe even _loves_ her. He's fallen hopelessly for the Goth girl who also happens to be his best friend. Why couldn't he just come out and say it?

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he was gonna tell her that he loves her. He was sure of that.

.::.

"Hey, Artie. Sorry about yesterday. Guess I just kinda freaked out," Tina told Artie the next day as they were walking down the school halls.

"It's okay. I mean, we all do some crazy stuff when we're tired, right?" he joked and smiled.

"So… what was it you were gonna tell me?" she asked. His smile immediately diminished.

"Oh... uhh... just a question,"

"Well what kind of question?"

"Uhhmm... Would you... uhh..." his palms started to sweat as he struggled for words, the pressure creeping up to him like crazy.

"Would I what?"

"Would you have thought that genophobia is the fear of sex?" _Oh no, I did NOT just say that!_

"I… guess not?" Tina answered, though it came out more like a question. She noticed a flushed Artie and was not quite sure what to do. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Psh, yeah! I'm great!" he said nervously, sweating even more.

"Yeah, I gotta go. See 'ya around," she said and walked away.

_Oh god, oh god, oh god... That was so embarrassing! Why couldn't I just tell her the three simple words?_

Later after school, he was gonna tell her then. That's for sure.

.::.

After school, the pair was walking down the streets to their homes. They were just next door neighbors anyway.

"Tina, I want to tell you something,"

"Does it involve any more about infamous phobias?"

Artie blushed. "N-no. This is something different,"

"Well then shoot,"

"Uhhm..." he was beginning to feel sweaty again, "Errr..."

"Just come out and say it, you nerd," she joked.

"One inch of rain over one square mile is seventeen million, three hundred seventy-eight thousand, seven hundred gallons of water!" he blurted out suddenly. _What? How do I even know that?_

"Hmm... Interesting," she said, "Well, see ya later, Artie," she said upon reaching their houses.

Artie could only nod. What was wrong with him?

He was going to do it tonight. He was confident of that.

.::.

Tina was in the middle of watching an episode from her favorite TV series when she heard a knock on the door. She looked at the clock that said 9:36pm. _Who could be at the door this late at night?_

She opened the door to find none other than Artie Abrams. She blushed, having realized that she was wearing her over-sized shirt that said "Nerds Need Love Too", a pair of tattered old sweatpants, and her nighttime retainers.

"Artie? What are you doing here at nine thirty-shix?" she inquired, her voice sounding different because of her retainers.

Artie felt like melting into a puddle then and there. _She looked so cute in her PJ's._

"I'm here to tell you something—something important this time!"

"Well, shince you came all the way down here at this late hour, it better be shomething important!" she said, just wanting to go inside immediately because of her disgruntled appearance.

"It's—wait, were you _crying_?" he asked suddenly, taking note of her red eyes and pink nose.

"Nah, jush a shad epishode from my favorite shoap opera," she shrugged, wincing at her weird voice.

"Okay. Well here's what I wanna say," he said, beaming.

"Well... what ish it? Hurry up, will 'ya? I hate talking in theesh thingsh!"

"Uhh..." there goes all his confidence whooping out the window. "The most common birthday in America is October fifth." _Oh shoot!_

"And you're telling me thish becosh..."

"Well... if you're gonna have babies, make sure you won't give birth on October fifth since I know you like being unique!" He said then smacked his forehead. "No! That didn't come out right!" He yelled, waving his hands in front of him frantically.

"Artie, I hate kidsh," she said, completely puzzled by him.

"Yeah, but if you meet the right guy, you're bound to have one, right?" He said desperately, smacking his forehead again. "That _still_ didn't sound right!"

"Get out of here," Tina stated simply and closed the door.

_What the heck just happened?_

.::.

"ARTIE!" He heard a voice call out and someone to stomp behind him. He turned around and faced a furious raven-haired woman.

"Hey, Tee, whattup?"

"What is wrong with you?"

"What?"

"It's obvious that you're trying to tell me something, so just say it!" She practically yelled at his face, looking like she was about to hit him.

Artie closed his eyes in fear. "Okay! The female praying mantis rips off the head of the male praying mantis while having sexual intercourse!" _What the fuck was that?_

"Well _I'm_ going to rip _your _head off if you don't stop spraying me with annoying facts! Just say what you gotta say already!"

"I LOVE YOU, TINA COHEN-CHANG!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, causing all the heads in the hallway to stare at them.

"WHAT?" she exclaimed, looking even more furious.

"I'm so sorry! Please don't hit me!" He closed his eyes shut and shielded himself with his arms. "Please don't! I'm already in a wheelchair—Oh gosh, I'm such an idiot! This is not how I planned on confessing this!"

To his surprise, Tina laughed. "Artie, you're such a dork." She said simply and leaned down to kiss him.

.::.

EPILOGUE

"Are you sure you're okay, Artie? You seem kinda... fidgety," Tina asked her boyfriend.

"I've never been better!" he said rather nervously.

"Artie, it's our fifth anniversary. Can't we just enjoy the food in this exquisite restaurant without your flushed expressions? This night's so romantic, really it is,"

"Okay, um... I have to ask you something,"

"_Please_, anything just to get you to stop fidgeting!"

"Uhm..."

"What is it?"

"Uhh..."

"Just tell me and I'll answer it honestly!"

"Err... Did you know that the exact value of pi is three-point-one-four-one-five-nine-two-six-five-three-five—"

"Artie, STOP!" she cut him off. Artie blushed.

"I'm really sorry. I'm just so nervous! It's just a yes or no question,"

"Fine. Whatever it is, yes. Can we eat now?"

Artie felt a huge smile creeping to his face, sitting stock still with wide eyes.

"What are you smiling about?" she asked.

"You, Tina Cohen-Chang, had just agreed to become my wife."

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**Haha, please review and tell me what your favorite encounter was. :)**


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